Thursday, December 8, 2011

Food Cruise- Day 2


Day 2 of the eating adventure out at sea. We begin with lunch when we board the boat. I was not prepared for this at all. I was thinking a bunch of people going on a nice trip together; we are all on the same ship, and one big family. Well we were on board with a bunch of cousins that nobody wants to invite to the reunion. It was as if these people lived in caves and never been in contact with other humans before. I was scared for mine and my wife's lives.

They didn't care if you were next in line; they just push you out of the way and piled all they could on their plate. It didn't matter if they could eat it all or not. That was a little sad. Most of the employees on the ship were from countries that were very poor. So it was very embarrassing watching all these fat Americans waste all that food. Way to represent people. The worst were the old people. I guess they had to hurry up and get theirs because they didn't know if they were going to be alive the next day to eat again. They acted like they were too old to notice that they were cutting in front of people, but I could tell they knew what they were doing when I saw one of them trip a kid to get them out of the way. The kids were horrible too. Taking their snotty, unwashed hands and grabbing everything. I wanted to jab one with a fork when their parents were not looking. The favorite of the cruise was when I got behind the lady who acted like she had a stick shoved upped her back side. She was picking through a bowl of fruit. Not a big deal I know. But she only picked out three grapes. Not just any grapes off the top, but she pushed other grapes aside to get to these particular three grapes. What was so annoying was that it took her 10 minutes to pick out three grapes.

My wife and I ended up at the Chinese buffet line. They had some good noodles, chicken, and some shrimp. Nothing that made you go wow, but this was our first meal and we were just happy to get away from the feeding time at the zoo and find a quiet place to sit and eat.

Then it was dinner time. This was when the action was happening. Not knowing what was going on we got to the dining hall early. We would not make that mistake again. They would not let you sit early, so once again like a heard of animals we had to wait in line. That's when it happened.....

Then elevator doors opened and out of nowhere came this old lady flying out on her scooter. No beeping noise, no looking to see who was behind her. She just floored that little red scooter and backed out of the elevator like a bat out of hell. I had to push my wife out of the way, or she would have lost a big toe. The old hag got stuck and could not turn the scooter around. She was getting so mad at her husband that was trying to help her. She said, “I do not like this and I am getting very angry at all this.” Then, she got up and walked away leaving the scooter behind. Just when my wife and I were getting over the humor of the situation, we hear this awful noise. Some little kid was not getting enough attention and thought he would get everyone’s by screaming at the top of his lungs. To top this off the dad, grandfather, boyfriend, whatever he was said, “If you don't stop I am going to punch you in the stomach so hard it will knock all the breath out of you.” We just wanted to get inside and we were hoping we did not have to sit with any of these people.

Finally inside at our seat, we sat with a fun couple we had met earlier that day and a nice newlywed couple. We were actually looking forward to having dinner with them every night. Then it was time to order. I had steak and potatoes, plus a crème brulee for dessert. It was all very good. But really it wasn’t so much about the food as it was about the atmosphere. The dining area was supposed to be a nice place to eat. In fact they suggest to you to dress up a little. But not these rednecks; they wore their flip flops, shorts, and what they called a shirt. Pretty much the same thing you would see if you went to a Waffle House at 3:00 in the morning. I was a little disappointed with the portions, but that was just being a newbie to the cruise dining. I learned something very important from another passenger at breakfast that I will share on another blog. The thing was if you didn't get enough to eat and got hungry around 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning; there was always the 24 hour pizza and ice cream bar. I didn't know if I could sleep knowing that would be available to me all night.
Read more about our 1st day on the Ship at www.when-life.blogspot.com

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Start of the vacation...

I hope you had a great time stuffing your face on Thanksgiving, all the while hoping you were not asked to go out the next day to go shopping on Black Friday. Why is it called Black Friday? Because you come back black and blue from fighting with the other unthankful people over a cheap plastic toy. I did not have to go shopping this year, so I was able to sleep in and allow my stomach to continue to digest the huge amounts of casseroles that I consumed on Thursday.

I have been putting off writing my blogs knowing that I would be going on a cruise and have a lot more interesting things that I have dined on. I hope it was worth the wait. I tried to keep track of all I had to eat over our 7 day adventure out at sea.

Our travels began pretty basic but wonderfully, we started the night before at the Waffle House. When in doubt and you don't know where to go to eat, there is a Waffle House on every corner down in the south. Great breakfast food, but sometimes not the greatest service. Once I figured out that the object protruding out of the waitress's mouth was a piercing and not the sausage link she was probably just sucking on, I was able to enjoy my meal of a waffle, scramble eggs and of course hash browns smothered. Normally I get them smothered and covered but I didn't want to eat too much before the trip. For the northern folk who may not have a clue to what I am talking about, you just need to just trust me when I say it’s good Ya'll.

We then proceeded to drive the next morning on our 6 hour trek to our port. For lunch we stop by the Golden Arches. That's right Mc-a-Dees...McDonalds. We wanted one last true all American meal before we set sail around the Mexican border. Hamburgers and fries, need I say more.

Once we made it to our hotel, where we were going to stay overnight before leaving, it was dinner time. Too tired to venture out into the unknown city we were in (Tampa), we opted to order in. While we were deciding what would not break our bank on the room service menu, God sent a messenger to us. Under the door slides a take-out menu to a local Italian restaurant...Hallelujah. The place was called DiNapoli Pizzeria; we had ravioli, manicotti, salad, and bread. It was like having a little Italy in or hotel room. Nothing like gorging yourself on bread and pasta stuffed with cheese before bed. I think I fell asleep with a fork in my mouth. The vacation started off well, but stay tuned for the rest of our ingestion ocean adventure.....

Also find out more about our cruise at When Life Gets in the Way....www.when-life.blogspot.com

Saturday, September 10, 2011

New Restaurants

Labor Day gives most people a three day weekend, a little vacation. So when these opportunities come around my wife takes a little vacation from cooking and we eat out. We decided to try some new neighborhood restaurants that we had seen while driving around.

Our first stop was a philly cheese steak place. What impressed me most was that my wife suggested this. Not only was this not the type of food that my wife usually eats, this place was also connected to a gas station. So we pull up to the place for lunch and….. it was closed. Not just closed during that time, but it had a hand written sign offering to sell the space with the equipment inside. I was a little bummed, because I like a good cheese steak. Nothing like mushrooms, onions, and peppers covered in melted cheese with pieces of steak. Even though as I get older I’m noticing that peppers do not agree with my stomach anymore. This was discovered when my wife made some cheese steaks at the house about a month ago and she couldn’t breathe for the rest of the night. This was another reason why I was surprised she suggested the place, since she was going to be stuck in the car with me for the next few hours as we shopped that day. Let’s just say she was thankful the place was out of business. She said sorry it was closed (with a smile on her face) and my thought was that it must not have been very good if they went out of business.

So we went up the street to a Mexican restaurant that we always say “We need to try that someday”, whenever we drive by it. La Hacienda means the property or the ranch. Not sure how that relates to food, but judging a place by its name is like judging a book by its cover. So we pull into the parking lot and the first thing we see is graffiti sprayed on the walls around the parking lot. This wasn’t gang signs or bad language it was pictures. You were greeted in the parking lot with pictures of Mighty Mouse, Woody Wood Pecker, and Speedy Gonzales. Again not sure what this has to do with Mexican food, but it was entertaining to see. The thing about Mexican restaurants is that the menus are basically the same. There is only so much you can do with beans, rice, and tortillas. I had a chicken enchilada, it was good. Nothing overly special about it, they do give you a healthy helping of beans and their salsa had a nice kick to it. My wife had a taco, she loved it. There was something about the shell that made it especially good. So good she wanted me to try a bite. Not of the actual taco, but just the shell. I thought that was a rip off, but I’ll have to admit it was a darn good taco shell. But then it happened, we were on the way out and my wife saw their health inspection rating, it was an 80. To me that’s a grade of a “B” so that is at least passing. But to my wife anything less than a 99 is unacceptable. Oh well maybe you should judge a restaurant by its cover.

The other place we went to over the weekend was the Journey’s End Restaurant. This was an all you can eat buffet. It was not a large selection of food, but enough to make you happy. It was comfort food, where everything was fried or had cheese on it. There are different types of people at a buffet:
The person that wanders around with their plate getting in everyone’s way, normally this person is old and looks confused.
  • The person who piles everything on their plate because they think the kitchen might run out of food.
  • The person who doesn’t care that you are standing there first, they are going to push you out of the way to get what they want.
  • The picky person who has to pick through all the food looking to see if they can find the perfect piece of meat.
  • The person with the brat who thinks it is fun to touch all the food after his fingers have been digging for gold up his nose.
I hate all those people. I like to get a little bit of everything, find out what I like, and go back for more of that item (maybe pushing a few people out of my way to get to it first). It was good food and I even impressed my wife; first I got a baked potato that she didn’t see at the buffet, then I got some banana pudding from the dessert area and topped it off with chocolate syrup from the ice cream area. I think a few of the other customers were eying my little culinary skills. That’s why you take your time at the buffet. Life is like a buffet, you never know what you gonna get.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Say Cheese

While watching TV on one of my favorite channels The Foodnetwork , my wife started to talk to me during a commercial. She notice I wasn’t paying attention to her (which is sometimes not that unusual) but I said, “Oh my, what is that.” It was an advertisement for Velveeta’s latest meal. It looked like it was macaroni noodles, with hamburger meat, spaghetti sauce, and Velveeta of course. After I got done wiping the drool from my face, I began telling my wife how I used to eat Velveeta often as a kid.

I can still remember the block of cheese wrapped in foil in the bright yellow box. My siblings and I would walk by the fridge and grab a hunk of cheese delight. It is like the perfect melting cheese, great for grilled cheese sandwiches. Our family favorite was nachos. You had to do it right or would not get optimum cheese on all the nachos. If you just threw the nachos on the plate and slapped the cheese on top you would just get a few nachos with cheese and the rest would end up on the bottom of the plate. The key was to layer. A little bit of nachos, then spread the cheese out evenly, then layer of nachos, and cheese again. This would give it maximum coverage. Top with a little bit of salsa and sour cream, and this would complete an evening of sitting in front of the TV.

This was the age of the microwave. You know when we didn’t know any better and we would press our face up against the microwave trying to watch things melt. Not knowing that radiation was seeping out the door and doing who knows what to our DNA. As a teenage boy I was the master microwave chef. If I could get it on a paper plate and could melt it together in the microwave I was happy. During summer vacation, while the other kids were playing outside, this teenage kid was in the kitchen figuring out my next microwave master piece. I found some different kinds of cheese; American Singles, Mozzarella, and Velveeta of course. I also found some refried beans in the pantry and some tortilla wraps. Not really caring what my mother had planned for any of this stuff, I made what I liked to call “The Melt.” Take a few spoons full of beans and spread on the tortilla, layer the cheese, and roll it up. Nuke it for about 15 to 20 seconds. If you are lucky you might have some sauce packets left over from Taco Bell to put on top. I was like Chef Boyardee with that microwave.

Of course you couldn’t go to the bathroom for a week if you ate too much Velveeta; I think it’s like 15% wax.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Try anything once, maybe twice

I have a general philosophy when it comes to food. At least try something new once, if you don’t like it try it again just to be sure. So I don’t let things like color or textures stop me from tasting something different. Same goes for restaurants, some people won’t go to a place that looks like it was built in the early 1900’s with mud and twigs or looks like they haven’t changed the grease they used since Ronald Reagan was president. Then you have people who have to look at the score grade to see what the local food inspector says of the place. I on the other hand think that if I don’t give something a try I could be depriving myself and mostly my stomach of something that could be very good. So what if there are more flies on the inside of the place than outside and the décor consist of random artwork bought from garage sales, there might be some good eatin in that place.

Early in our marriage my wife and I were driving around and I saw a sign for a restaurant called “Pasta Max”. I love pasta, so I figured this place was right up my alley. I mean it has “Max” in its name. Maybe this meant maximum amount of pasta, or maximum taste. Just about when I was going to suggest going there to eat, my wife says, “Who would go to a pasta place that is located in a lobby of a hotel?” I just shrugged my shoulders in the “I don’t know” motion and mourned over all the great pasta dishes I was missing out on. So what if it is in a hotel, a hotel would not serve bad food to their guest, right?

This past week my office had a going away party for a coworker who was being relocated to another office out of state. So we had a catered lunch; one this meant free food and two this meant free food. The food was from; you guessed it, Pasta Max. It was if the food gods were finally answering my prayers. I love the sight of those bright and shiny tin foil pans, along with the individually wrapped plastic fork and knife set; it’s kind of like unwrapping presents on Christmas morning. First of all the “Max” in Pasta Max does stand for a lot of pasta. There was more than enough food for everyone to have more than one helping. So I got my portion of chicken parmesan with ravioli noodles. It was decent, I would never complain about free food. Plus you have to equate that this stuff traveled 15 to 20 minutes from the restaurant to the office, so it wasn’t straight from the kitchen. The bread was good; I snuck a few extra pieces back to my desk for later that day. I found out that they were no longer located in the lobby of the hotel, but now had their own place. Thinking of my philosophy of try something new once, if you don’t like it try it again just to be sure, I was already coming up with my plan for my wife and I to “accidently” drive by the place one day.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

The Oyster House for Dessert

Our last eating adventure at Orange Beach, Alabama was at The Original Oyster House. It is one of our favorite places to eat. For one particular reason the dessert. The food is good, as well as the atmosphere. To give you an idea on how good the place is, we tried to go there as one of our first stops but it was at least a two hour or more wait to get in that day. So we decided to wait another day and go earlier to beat the rush. We basically got there about the same time as the senior citizens; because as we all know when they go out they have to be back in time for Wheel of Fortune. How old are Pat and Vanna anyway?

Our last night of eating out on our vacation and I was going to go big. I started with an appetizer of Alligator Bites. It taste like chicken, but had a texture of fish. It came with a special sauce made by Joe and Dave. I don’t know who Joe and Dave are, but they make a heck of a dippin sauce. Which you can purchase in their gift store with a selection of other spices and sauces, not really worth the price they were selling it for, plus my extra money was for the dessert. I was a little curious where the gator came from since this place was right next to the lagoon.

For the main course I had the Butter Pecan Mahi: carefully grilled, topped with sweet pecan butter. OH MY GOODNESS. If I didn’t think I would embarrass myself and my wife, I would have picked up the plate and licked the remainder of the butter off. My wife got the Boardwalk Combo: Flounder with crabmeat dressing and fried shrimp. Also, very good, I always get to try a bite of two off her plate. She also got the salad bar with her meal and said some of my favorite words, “I’ll be sure to get some stuff for you to.” That’s true love there.

So a quick recap; I had alligator, my meal, some of my wife’s meal and some stuff from the salad bar. But I didn’t go there for all that. It was time for dessert, Peanut Butter Pie. Enough said. Not just Peanut Butter Pie, but with chocolate chips and it was homemade. If it has Peanut Butter in it, it’s going to be good. Add cream cheese and a graham cracker crust…. I’ve lost my train of thought just thinking about it again. I thought it would be a nice touch to go back to our condo and eat it while looking over the ocean, romantic aren’t I. I ask the waitress to put it in a to-go box, and she acted like I was a wimp for not trying to eat it there. Oh it was on, I accepted that challenge. My wife had a few bites and went out quickly; I was in it for the glory. I enjoyed every bite of that Peanut Butter heaven and finished it. I might have needed to make a quick exit out of The Oyster House so no one would see me loosen my pants, but I left there victorious and thinking I’ll be back next year for round two.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Good Food, bad company.

This is the second time my wife and I have been to this beach together so there were two places we wanted to go back to after already eating there. One is Calypso Joe’s, a Caribbean grille. We go for the burgers and slaw. The atmosphere is cool as well, it is right next to a dock where the big yachts come and go, and also it has a nice outdoors feel to it. In fact my wife wanted to eat outside, but I saw it was crowded and a long wait so I made the decision to be seated inside.

This time though, it wasn’t so fun. The food was still great. I had their Paradise Burger: Fresh Ground Beef gilled over an open flame, topped with Smoked Cheddar, Swiss and Provolone Cheese, served on a Butter-Toasted Kaiser Bun, Lettuce, Tomato, Onion, and Pickle. They have some great burger choices, but this one had the most cheese on it and you can never have enough cheese on a burger. It also came with fries and slaw. The fries are excellent, they have just enough spice on them and they give you a lot of them. I hate going to a restaurant and not getting enough fries with my meal, sometimes I want to ask the server if they ate some on the way to the table. But at Joe’s I had to force myself to finish my fries and some of my wife’s, the sacrifice husbands have to make. The slaw is the best, it’s called island slaw. I haven’t figured out what is in it, but I could eat a tub of this stuff. It has a sweet and spicy taste to it. Highly recommend it.
So the food was great, but this time the atmosphere was not. First of all Calypso Joe’s is a very casual restaurant. You could go in there wearing flip flops, shorts and a T-shirt; it is a place at the beach after all. I was sitting facing the door, I was trying to hold back my laughter, but it must have been obvious that I saw something. My wife asked what I just saw. By that time, these two girls walked by us dressed like they were going to the academy awards (I'm being nice, they actually look like the type of girls my mother would never approve of). My wife said under her breath, “OH my goodness.” One would think they were going someplace else afterwards, but they might have been 16 or 17 and they were with their parents, who were dressed very casual. So after we got a good laugh out of how these girls thought they were cover models for Vogue, we heard this horrible noise.
There was this large group of people sitting near us that had this very loud little kid about 6 or 7. Seems that whenever he felt like he was not getting enough attention he would scream. The parents were sitting on the opposite end of the table from him, so I was going to offer to knock the brat up side his head if he didn’t quit. I heard the little monster order a Mountain Dew with his meal, and I thought please do not give him sugar.  We were thankful that we were done with our meal by the time they were finishing ordering. I could tell the parents of this spawn of Satan purposely put him at the opposite end of the table where someone else had to deal with him. Here’s the thing for all you parents. Bathrooms at restaurants are used for two reasons; one is the obvious, the other is to take your screaming demon in there and lay the smack down on them. We’ll still go back to Calypso Joe’s again, just ask to sit outside.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Fresh Shrimp

WELCOME TO MY NEW FOOD BLOG. I love food so much I decided to make a separate blog just for the topic...Enjoy and Bon appetite

Day three of the edible adventure at the beach; when we travel my wife goes for the sites and the shopping; I go for the different food I normally cannot get. I’ll have to admit though on this trip I got to see something very cool, the Blue Angels practice their air show. That was incredible to see, these huge fighter jets fly within 18 inches of each other and do stunts in the air. It was truly a site to see, even though we had to put up with some kid that sat in front of us on the bleachers and thought my knees were his personal punching bags. Then there was the old lady behind us who thought she was in the plane with the pilots and had to comment on everything. According to her they were not very good pilots and the speaker didn’t know what he was talking about. Like I was going to listen to some old lady whose glasses were the size of coke bottles and I think she thought the birds flying around were the airplanes.
Now to the really good part, on the way home we stopped by a local fish market. Our quest was to get some steamed shrimp. The first market we went into was like going to a Wal-Mart after mid-night. These people acted like they had never been out in public before. We would be looking at one item when someone would just push in front of us. Not to get anything, they would just get their big, unwashed, smelly head in front of us and just stand there. Then we saw some lobster salad we thought we would try. The worker was there taking inventory or putting prices on things or just acting like she was supposed to be there. She didn’t move, I said excuse me, nothing. She just stood there holding a box. Ignored me twice after I tried to get her attention, my guess was that she was wondering how she ever achieve such a great level in her career to be working at the local fish market, serving people that smelled like the merchandise that they were selling.
We left that market and decided to try another one. Jackpot! We were the only ones in the market and the people who worked their actually wanted to sell us something. I asked for some steamed shrimp. The reply was “What size and how many pounds.” This surprised me since I didn’t know I had a choice. They had four different sizes, we asked for a pound of the medium. He put some on the scale and I laughed. That wouldn’t have been enough to feed my cat, so we got two pounds of shrimp and some French bread. We got back to the condo, went out on the balcony, and I took a bite. The clouds broke apart and the angels broke into chorus “Hallelujah, Hallelujah!” That was the best shrimp I ever had. I could have eaten all two pounds in one sitting. But because I like my wife I allowed her to have some. I counted how many she had to make sure she didn’t get more than me. (Just joking or am I) We didn’t eat it all that night; I stopped myself so I could enjoy it the next day for lunch. I was so addicted to the shrimp I was tempted to knock some kid down for his swimming goggles and see if I could find my own fresh shrimp at the beach. But instead I just laid there on my beach chair waiting for lunch to come around so I could indulge in some more tasty little critters.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Continuing on with the food saga at the beach, the second day we went to a steak restaurant.  I love steak, nothing better than a piece of meat cooked just right. Being the food lover I am; I also enjoy the sides that come with the meal. It often takes longer for me to decide what I want on the side than the actual main dish. But with steak it is an easy choice, it has to be a potato. Steak and potatoes go together like peanut butter and jelly (another favorite of mine). So one would think an ordinary common meal like steak and potatoes would be easy to get at a steak restaurant….

We went to Jake’s Steakhouse that evening. Jake was next door to Bubba’s Seafood that I mentioned in the last Blog and they were also related. I don’t know if they were brothers, cousins or what, but I was suspecting some inbreeding going on after that night. The wife and I decided that it would be fun to buy a T-shirt at each of the places we ate at. So after we put our names down with the hostess, we went to the little souvenir corner. They had their shirts, but with no prices. So we began looking around to see if we could find some help, no one would even look at us. Looking at the other stuff they had that did have prices, I decided it would be too much any ways. They had Flip Flops for $20, who buys flip flops at a steak house for $20. Maybe for those people coming from the beach and didn’t realize they have a no shirt, no shoes policy. Because flip flops cover the feet so well. So our name got called and off we went to the table.
My wife, the savvy shopper that she is, buys these coupons on-line that give you a discount on your total bill if you order over a certain amount of food. You just need to show the coupon to your server before you order. No problem, except when the inbreeding owners hire their offspring for their workers. I showed the coupon to the waitress and she looked at me like I just asked her to read the business section of the New York Times, which anything above Dr. Seuss would be above her reading level. Her response was and I quote,” We just had a meetin’ ‘bout them things, I didn’t pay too much attention to it then, so I don’t know what all that means. But order what you want.” So I followed up with asking her if it was going to be a problem to use the coupon. She told us to go back up front to show it to the hostess. Why the hostess needed to see a coupon, we couldn’t understand. Neither could the hostess, when my wife walked back to the front of the place, she was told that she just need to give it to our server and it would be taken care of. At this point we were feeling like we were in the Twilight Zone and just wanted our food.
We broke the rule of ordering something different and each got a steak. You gotta order a steak at a Steak house. We each got it medium rare and a baked potato to go along with it. They had some great rolls to snack on while you wait. This was a good thing, because the wait was a very long time. I think they had to hunt and kill the cow first, and being inbred the cow probably out smarted them for a while. So we finally get our food and I think they literally kill the cow and put it on the plate. Apparently these kissing cousins did not know the difference between raw and medium rare, but I was so hungry I didn’t send it back. Plus I was a little disappointed in the baked potato with the little packet of squeezable sour cream and the little slab of butter. We were ready to be done and go back to the condo.
She gives us the bill, I hand her the coupon AGAIN. She looks at me like I just committed a crime. I watched her get her manager that looked like it was her Aunt Mom. After counting their toes a few times, which they could do through their $20 flip flops, they came back with the bill and amazingly it was the right amount. I wanted to tell the waitress to have a nice night with her half-brother cousin, but we just left and got some ice cream. Mm mm ice Cream, God’s way of telling us everything will be OK now.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

So one of my favorite subjects to talked about is food. While at the beach last month we ate out at different places. Over the next few weeks I think I'm going to review those places we ate at. So enjoy and I hope I don't make you hungry.

The first day at the beach we were deciding on where to go eat dinner. The beach we go to does this thing in the afternoon with air planes. They do these fly byes pulling a banner behind them advertising the local restaurants. Like the good Christian I am when I see a message in the sky, I figured it was God telling us where to go eat. This time God was telling us to go to Bubba's Seafood. My wife and I had discovered we had an advantage over most people at the beach. A table for two sits quicker than a table of 4 or more. So our wait was quick. I was a little worried when the hostess ask us if we prefer inside or outside. I don't like sharing my food with bugs, so I said inside. The hostess said there was no wait for outside but there would be a wait for inside. I asked how long of a wait. She said (follow along carefully with this) “Only a minute to wipe off a table.” So again I said we would like to be seated inside. By this time a manager came along and said “Do they know there is no waiting on the outside.” Followed by another hostess that said “Their table on the inside is now ready.” That conversation wasted 2 minutes of my life.

So we get to our table and get our drinks. I have a general rule when my wife and I eat somewhere that we have never been. We each order something different so we can try each others food. One of the advantages of being married is that you get to eat off of two plates. My wife got the shrimp platter and I got the captain's plate. It was a mixture of fish, shrimp, scallops, crab cakes, and fries. All I can say is, thank you Lord for sending me there. I took a few bites of my fish to give it a try and was very happy. I then took a deep breath and went at it, looking up a few times to acknowledge my wife’s presence. It was extremely good and when we go back to the beach next year I will be reacquainting myself with Bubba again.

The next morning when we were going to the beach and we were headed toward the ocean. I notice a man over my shoulder taking pictures of me. Knowing the he was not wanting pictures of my physique, I turned around to see what he was really taking a picture of. Just a few feet from where we were standing was a shark. It was either a little 4 foot shark or a baby shark swimming in water that came up to my knees. Fearing that he knew I ate some of his relatives the night before or that I had the sent of fish on me from eating half of the ocean, I quickly got my wife and I out of the water as fast as my bloated stomach could go. I had my sketch pad on me at the time so this is a dramatization of what I saw. We went back in the water when the shark left, I kept glancing up in the sky, hoping to see another sign from God on where to go eat next.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

MEAT MEAT

This past weekend was very amusing. Friday nights my wife and I have started a little tradition, Fun Food Fridays. Through out the week we eat kind of healthy, but on Friday we have a little fun and eat something greasy or something that we know is not good for us. Anything from pizza, wings and Philly Cheese Steaks and always with a side of fries, I look forward to Friday. We also watch some movie together. We end up laying on the couch until 11:30 or later depending on what we find on TV. Typically my wife is asleep next to me by 9:30, so that’s when I watch what I want and eat a little more of whatever is leftover. I enjoy Friday night.

This weekend had an extra bonus. My brother-in-law had a birthday and we all went out to eat. We went to a place that all you can eat salad bar and MEAT for $50. That’s right, all you can eat MEAT. Everything from steak and chicken to lamb, it was a never ending supply of MEAT. You have a little card next to you; one side is red for stop the other sides green for go. Red for stop bringing the meat and green for bring it on. The servers come out of no where and just cut pieces of meat from their skewers. Picture it; men running around with big ol’ slabs of meat on a stick at your beck and call to serve you grade ‘A’ cuts of beef, cooked perfectly. On top of that, they had these rolls that just popped perfectly in your mouth. I’ll just say I had my $50 worth. While everyone else was kicked backed and groaning, I was still going at it. I think I heard my name being chanted in the background. Go Jason Go. At one point I looked up at one of the servers that were putting a lamb chop on my plate, “I’ve been waiting for you all night.” There is nothing like topping off a long week with a MEAT fest.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

My Favorite Past Time

This past week I have gotten to indulge in one of my favorite past times, eating. Such a simple thing makes me so happy. To use a phrase a friend of mine often says; it’s not about the Quality but the Quantity. I have lived and enjoyed living by that statement many times. But as you get older you learn the hard way that you can not eat like you are a teenage growing boy anymore, because the only thing that grows is the girth around the waist line.

My wife has started making a little money making wedding cakes. She has done at least three this year. Such a happy time in our house hold, the wife doing something she enjoys and we get a little bit of bonus money. But, the plus for me is the cake. When making a wedding cake it must be square on the sides and flat on top. To accomplish this, my wife takes a knife and cuts chunks from the cake until it becomes the shape she needs it to be. I call those pieces “Chunks of Happiness.” Not one to ever let food go to waste, she places the “Chunks of Happiness” in a bag for me to eat later. Recently I was being a little creative cake maker myself and decided to add peanut butter and chocolate on top of the cake. Miller Family Motto: Peanut Butter helps make the world a little better.

This week I got to eat at two new restaurants. The first I met with a friend of mine for lunch. I have another saying ( I seem to have a lot of those when it comes to food): I’ll try anything once and if I don’t like it I’ll try it again just to be sure. I have come across a place I’ll only try once, maybe. The diner’s menu was built around southern cooking. This Yankee has grown to love the southern cuisine. But this place ruined it for me. I didn’t notice the rating until I paid; they only had a grade of a 71, a C! I came out smelling like the grease they cook everything in, and my stomach was telling me about it all night. This was one exception to the rule Quantity over Quality. The other restaurant I went to was a higher class place. It was paid for by my company so I was all in. Higher class must have meant slower pace. If I’m spending 3 hours in a restaurant, my arm better be hurting from the constant motion of going from my plate to mouth. This place took forever with the food. No one else seemed to mind, they were enjoying their alcoholic beverages. I don’t drink, so a gallon of water and two loaves of bread latter I was getting a little annoyed. After all that waiting, I was not impressed and the portion was small. I was thinking in my head if there was a McDonalds on the way home. Another of my favorite lines “Would you like fries with that.”

Life can be like the food we eat. Every now and then life will throw some “Chunks of Happiness” your way and once in a while life is like being in a grease pit. But as long as I have Peanut Butter in the kitchen and a McDonalds on the corner, life is good.

Monday, January 17, 2011

This weekend was spent relaxing and eating the snacks my wife prepared for us while we watched the football playoffs. Atlanta lost, but the home made party Chex Mix, Tacos, bean dip, and peach pie were good. So it was a score for me. Even though while we were eating dinner I had just finished my fourth taco and going back for more (I know what you're thinking, why didn’t I just put more than 4 tacos on my plate in the first place.) When my wife spoke up and said, ”Uhm, could you leave me some more.” I wanted to say, “It’s survival of the fittest Babe!” But realizing that she made all the food and I probably would regret that comment later, I politely backed away and waited for her to get what she wanted. Even Batman and all his gadgets in his utility belt would rather face the Joker than a woman scorned.

Passage Proverbs 21:19:
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.