Day 5 of the food Cruise              

This was going to be an easy day of shopping at Cozumel. We were excited to start the day and we were finally figuring things out on the boat; how to get around, where to go and not go. We knew in the mornings not to go to the buffet tables where everyone else were walking around like zombies, trying to grab whatever fleshy thing you lay in front of them. It was best to go to the dining hall and be served. That particular morning was nice; we got sat at a nice quiet table for two. I will admit I did miss the enjoyment of chatting with the other people at a table, you never know who you might meet.

I had eggs benedict and some fruit. FYI; Lemuel Benedict, a retired Wall Street stock broker, claimed that he had wandered into the Waldorf Hotel in 1894 and, hoping to find a cure for his morning hangover, ordered "buttered toast, poached eggs, crisp bacon, and hollandaise." Oscar Tschirky, the famed maître d'hôtel, was so impressed with the dish that he put it on the breakfast and luncheon menus but substituted ham for the bacon and a toasted English muffin for the toast. I believe my wife had some French toast, which I was hoping to snag a bite, because it looked very good. The breakfast really was the highlight for the meals on the trip. We enjoyed our nice quiet breakfast together and began our day at port.

This was a short trip at port and really was not a lot of time to explore. We spent the whole day shopping, more about what we bought and saw at www.when-life.blogspot.com. It was a hot day and I was in need of something to drink, so we went into a local store to get something. You typically would not think of it, but all the labels were in Spanish. Yes a Coke still says Coke on the bottle, but all the ingredients and writings were all in Spanish. We were kind of fascinated by this as we looked at the candy bars and chips. It was the same packaging, but with different writing. Uh duh, we were in a different country, which spoke a different language. I still felt a little like Indiana Jones finding something unique, but that just shows that I really don’t get out that much. By the way a Sprite tastes the same in Cozumel as it does in the U.S.

So after an afternoon of shopping in the hot sun we were ready to get back on the boat for lunch. We were in the mood for something normal. I was surprised to hear my wife suggest pizza. I acted like it was an o.k. suggestion, but deep inside I was doing back flips. So to the pizza buffet we went. I got a Calzone and a slice of pizza. It was a nice afternoon; most people ate at a local restaurant that was just off the port. So for once the buffet was calm, except for this one kid who tried to cut in front of my wife. I was sitting at my table watching all unfold before my eyes. I saw the kid running from the outside; he came into the dining hall with no shirt on, and was going straight for the pizza. He didn’t care who was in front, he grabbed a tray and tried to push his way in front of my wife. I was thinking of the excuse I was going to have to give to the parents on why their kid had pepperoni up his nose, but my wife did the right thing. She just slightly pushed the kid back. It was great; it was not a hard push or anything. She just stepped back in front of him. The kid had a look of shock on his face like he didn’t know what just happened.  Personally, I think the kid should have been hoisted by his swim trunks up the flag pole and his parents be allow to smack him around like a piñata.  But all ended well.

Dinner time was simple. I did not see anything interesting on the menu. So, I went with a hamburger. I figured you cannot possibly mess up a hamburger. Guess what…. They messed up a hamburger. I was so disappointed. It was as if while we were at port and off the boat, the chefs went into everyone’s cabin and cut the soles off of shoes. I took a little glance at my shoes just to be sure. I was so hoping I could once again use the advantage of ordering double off the menu, but there was nothing else I wanted. I did have a nice chocolate dessert and was tempted to order another just to prove my point that these people did not know who they were messing with. But, it was time to close things down and my wife and I took a nice walk around the boat. We walked passed the 24 hour ice cream bar and I did some damage there so I could sleep knowing that my stomach was satisfied. Don’t forget to check out www.when-life.blogspot.com to read about the rest of our Cozumel adventure.

Day 4 of the cruise

Day 4

The continuing food saga of our cruise in the Gulf of Mexico.

It was time for our first port adventure; we were setting dock at the Cayman Islands. After learning the previous morning that we are not very sociable morning people and do not enjoy eating with the rest of the heard. We decided to try the dining area for breakfast. It did not have a grand buffet, but you could order anything you want off the menu. The disappointing part was you had to eat with other people.

As I sat down with the group of people, I was hoping no one would talk to me and if they did the consequences would be out of my control. That must have been the expression on my face, because everyone just smiled and nodded at me. I think it is an unwritten rule to not speak to someone in the morning until they get something in their stomach. So we sat and the waiter quickly offered us some coffee or juice, as if he knew someone was going overboard if that didn’t happen. Then we ordered and they had a basket of bread for us as we waited for our meal. As my mind and body was finally starting to realize we were among other people, my wife started to talk with the people around us. We were discussing the captain’s meal from last night; I was suddenly awake when the guy across from me said he had three lobster tails and a full plate of shrimp. He had my attention at lobster tails. I guess all you have to do is ask for more or an extra entrée. I could have kissed him on the lips for this piece of intel. I almost called the waiter over to see if they had anything leftover from last night. But, decided it would not go with my French Toast and turkey bacon. I don’t know why I ordered turkey bacon when I could of had good ol’ actual pork bacon. Guess my wife has finally brain washed me into eating healthy.

It was off to Cayman. My first time on foreign soil, more on that trip at www.when-life.blogspot.com. We did our tourist thing of sailing, swimming with some sting rays, and shopping. While on the boat I tried some meat from a conch shell, it was like eating sushi. We were done about 12:00 and it was time for some lunch. But, I wanted to taste the local cuisine, my lovely wife did not. So we made a deal that I could get something small to eat on our way back to the boat. I got a deep fried veggie patty and some coconut bread from a local vendor. I wanted one of the chicken or beef patties, but my smart wife reminded me that we were basically in a third world country and their meat may not be as safe as our FDA approved meat. I was very happy with the veggie patty and bread. We got back to the boat for lunch at the dreaded buffet.

I was really hoping we would beat most of the people back on the ship, but I was wrong. Once again it was like throwing slop in the pig trough. We at least new we were headed to our favorite deli spot and were able to avoid most of the stampede. We had the tuna and a salad, again something healthy. But I didn’t care the pizza buffet was always opened and I had a routine down of having a few slices before dinner. We found a quiet booth and enjoyed watching the boat pull away from the dock.

So it was dinner time and we had learned to take our time to get there. Otherwise you would end up just standing in line. So we were able to walk to our table and join our friends we met every night and compared notes on our excursions.  They had one of my favorites as an appetizer, sushi. Not too many people like raw fish, I think it’s awesome and get it whenever I have the opportunity. Thanks to the great advice I got that morning, I ordered two appetizers. The other was shark. Had to try it and as the saying goes….It taste like chicken. I don’t equate chicken and shark, but from now on if I see someone afraid of something I’m going to say, “Don’t be a shark.” Then came the main dish, I had ordered the pork chops and potatoes. Not very good and very disappointed, I was so excited about ordering another meal after the tip I got this morning. But, I had the rest of the trip to try again I thought to myself with an evil laugh. For the first time I actually had something that ruined my appetite. It was like Superman finding his kryptonite. So thankful for the 24 hour Pizza buffet and ice cream bar. The wife and I enjoyed the rest of the evening walking around the boat and talking about what we had seen that day. Read about those unforgettable sights at

www.when-life.blogspot.com

Food Cruise - Day 3

I took a break from writing for the holidays, which were very nice and tasteful. From the cruise at the first part of November, through Thanksgiving, then Christmas, I kind of ate my way to the end of the year. So I might have to starve myself to start the New Year.

 Day three

Anyways to continue the the saga of the meals on the sea, it would be our first morning getting up on the boat and having breakfast. Thinking that most people had settled down and the buffet would be calmer we were excited to see what they were serving for breakfast. I love breakfast food, mostly, because it is easy to make; eggs (made anyway), bacon, sausage, pancakes, French toast, and cereal. When I was a bachelor I would live off of scramble eggs and cereal. To this day I sometimes enjoy a big bowl of cereal for lunch. Let’s face it we all do, and it's because it reminds us of our childhood of sitting in front of the TV watching our cartoons. So I was excited what this big boat was going to bring on that morning. The down side is that I am not a morning person and I and my wife do not like crowds. And that’s when it started.....

It was crazy. Once again these people did not know how to act like civilize humans. Instead they acted like a bunch of barn animals excited to see the farmer come out to feed them. Plus, they ate like animals to, like cows chewing on their cud. Not to mention the pushing and fighting to get in line. I manage to get a good size helping of scramble eggs and some fruit (so my wife would see me eating something healthy) But neither one of us could stand the people and their bratty kids who just wanted their cereal, because it would be ashamed to try something different other than Fruit Loops. 

So we would be on the boat all day until we got to our first port the next morning. So we killed some time until lunch, which by this time we were regretting. We did not want to go back to the barn and fight the animals. So we tried to time it right where it would not be as crowded. We succeeded and found a great deli. This became our favorite spot for lunch. We started with a Ruben. Oh my... That little Asian guy on the other side of the counter became my new best friend that day. Granted I don't think I understood anything he said and it looked like he made everything on an oversized George Foreman Grill, but he was a master chef in my eyes. The corn beef was cut perfectly thin with just the right amount of cheese, top that off that my wife found a salad bar around the corner that had a nice mixture of vegetables. Even though I made a fool out of myself when I tried to get some croutons and about 20 of them flew across the boat. You got to be careful with a crouton; you can take an eye out with one of those.  I tried to save myself from embarrassment when one of them landed on a nearby table full of people; I blamed it on the old woman on a walker next to me. She got a kick out it and laughed. She knew as well as I did when you reach a certain age you can get away with anything. I think she was tempted to throw one just to prove the point. We were happy we found a good spot for lunch for the rest of the cruise.

We sat around the pool until dinner (more on that at www.when-life.blogspot.com). Dinner that night was the captain's dinner. This is supposed to be a time when you get dressed up and have a more formal evening for dinner. Apparently some people think formal is putting on a shirt with sleeves, putting on footwear that doesn’t show your toes, and maybe wearing khaki shorts instead of the Hawaiian shorts of the girls drinking a beer. I felt like I was going to a Denny’s instead of a formal captain dinner. My wife and I were well dressed, as well as our companions at our table. I was able to put that aside, because it was about the food. They were serving lobster tail, shrimp and potatoes. Oh my! Since this was the formal night and we had guest at our table I refrained myself from licking the butter off my plate and running around the other tables asking if they were going to finish their meal,(even though the next morning I found out something that changed the rest of the trip.) So after we finished our meal our waiter came by with a little surprise. They found out that we were on our anniversary cruise and had the staff sing to us. Then our waiter pulled out a can a whip cream and began to spray it on my wife. I was about to say, hey buddy this is a family cruise. But he just put a little, and then held up a big napkin for us to kiss behind. It was a lot of fun. That night when we got back to our cabin we had a surprise platter of chocolate waiting for us. Some very sweet friends from our church had called ahead and had ordered it for us. It a very nice day. 

Please read about the rest of our day at www.when-life.blogspot.com