Say Cheese

While watching TV on one of my favorite channels The Foodnetwork , my wife started to talk to me during a commercial. She notice I wasn’t paying attention to her (which is sometimes not that unusual) but I said, “Oh my, what is that.” It was an advertisement for Velveeta’s latest meal. It looked like it was macaroni noodles, with hamburger meat, spaghetti sauce, and Velveeta of course. After I got done wiping the drool from my face, I began telling my wife how I used to eat Velveeta often as a kid.

I can still remember the block of cheese wrapped in foil in the bright yellow box. My siblings and I would walk by the fridge and grab a hunk of cheese delight. It is like the perfect melting cheese, great for grilled cheese sandwiches. Our family favorite was nachos. You had to do it right or would not get optimum cheese on all the nachos. If you just threw the nachos on the plate and slapped the cheese on top you would just get a few nachos with cheese and the rest would end up on the bottom of the plate. The key was to layer. A little bit of nachos, then spread the cheese out evenly, then layer of nachos, and cheese again. This would give it maximum coverage. Top with a little bit of salsa and sour cream, and this would complete an evening of sitting in front of the TV.

This was the age of the microwave. You know when we didn’t know any better and we would press our face up against the microwave trying to watch things melt. Not knowing that radiation was seeping out the door and doing who knows what to our DNA. As a teenage boy I was the master microwave chef. If I could get it on a paper plate and could melt it together in the microwave I was happy. During summer vacation, while the other kids were playing outside, this teenage kid was in the kitchen figuring out my next microwave master piece. I found some different kinds of cheese; American Singles, Mozzarella, and Velveeta of course. I also found some refried beans in the pantry and some tortilla wraps. Not really caring what my mother had planned for any of this stuff, I made what I liked to call “The Melt.” Take a few spoons full of beans and spread on the tortilla, layer the cheese, and roll it up. Nuke it for about 15 to 20 seconds. If you are lucky you might have some sauce packets left over from Taco Bell to put on top. I was like Chef Boyardee with that microwave.

Of course you couldn’t go to the bathroom for a week if you ate too much Velveeta; I think it’s like 15% wax.

Try anything once, maybe twice

I have a general philosophy when it comes to food. At least try something new once, if you don’t like it try it again just to be sure. So I don’t let things like color or textures stop me from tasting something different. Same goes for restaurants, some people won’t go to a place that looks like it was built in the early 1900’s with mud and twigs or looks like they haven’t changed the grease they used since Ronald Reagan was president. Then you have people who have to look at the score grade to see what the local food inspector says of the place. I on the other hand think that if I don’t give something a try I could be depriving myself and mostly my stomach of something that could be very good. So what if there are more flies on the inside of the place than outside and the décor consist of random artwork bought from garage sales, there might be some good eatin in that place.

Early in our marriage my wife and I were driving around and I saw a sign for a restaurant called “Pasta Max”. I love pasta, so I figured this place was right up my alley. I mean it has “Max” in its name. Maybe this meant maximum amount of pasta, or maximum taste. Just about when I was going to suggest going there to eat, my wife says, “Who would go to a pasta place that is located in a lobby of a hotel?” I just shrugged my shoulders in the “I don’t know” motion and mourned over all the great pasta dishes I was missing out on. So what if it is in a hotel, a hotel would not serve bad food to their guest, right?

This past week my office had a going away party for a coworker who was being relocated to another office out of state. So we had a catered lunch; one this meant free food and two this meant free food. The food was from; you guessed it, Pasta Max. It was if the food gods were finally answering my prayers. I love the sight of those bright and shiny tin foil pans, along with the individually wrapped plastic fork and knife set; it’s kind of like unwrapping presents on Christmas morning. First of all the “Max” in Pasta Max does stand for a lot of pasta. There was more than enough food for everyone to have more than one helping. So I got my portion of chicken parmesan with ravioli noodles. It was decent, I would never complain about free food. Plus you have to equate that this stuff traveled 15 to 20 minutes from the restaurant to the office, so it wasn’t straight from the kitchen. The bread was good; I snuck a few extra pieces back to my desk for later that day. I found out that they were no longer located in the lobby of the hotel, but now had their own place. Thinking of my philosophy of try something new once, if you don’t like it try it again just to be sure, I was already coming up with my plan for my wife and I to “accidently” drive by the place one day.

The Oyster House for Dessert

Our last eating adventure at Orange Beach, Alabama was at The Original Oyster House. It is one of our favorite places to eat. For one particular reason the dessert. The food is good, as well as the atmosphere. To give you an idea on how good the place is, we tried to go there as one of our first stops but it was at least a two hour or more wait to get in that day. So we decided to wait another day and go earlier to beat the rush. We basically got there about the same time as the senior citizens; because as we all know when they go out they have to be back in time for Wheel of Fortune. How old are Pat and Vanna anyway?

Our last night of eating out on our vacation and I was going to go big. I started with an appetizer of Alligator Bites. It taste like chicken, but had a texture of fish. It came with a special sauce made by Joe and Dave. I don’t know who Joe and Dave are, but they make a heck of a dippin sauce. Which you can purchase in their gift store with a selection of other spices and sauces, not really worth the price they were selling it for, plus my extra money was for the dessert. I was a little curious where the gator came from since this place was right next to the lagoon.

For the main course I had the Butter Pecan Mahi: carefully grilled, topped with sweet pecan butter. OH MY GOODNESS. If I didn’t think I would embarrass myself and my wife, I would have picked up the plate and licked the remainder of the butter off. My wife got the Boardwalk Combo: Flounder with crabmeat dressing and fried shrimp. Also, very good, I always get to try a bite of two off her plate. She also got the salad bar with her meal and said some of my favorite words, “I’ll be sure to get some stuff for you to.” That’s true love there.

So a quick recap; I had alligator, my meal, some of my wife’s meal and some stuff from the salad bar. But I didn’t go there for all that. It was time for dessert, Peanut Butter Pie. Enough said. Not just Peanut Butter Pie, but with chocolate chips and it was homemade. If it has Peanut Butter in it, it’s going to be good. Add cream cheese and a graham cracker crust…. I’ve lost my train of thought just thinking about it again. I thought it would be a nice touch to go back to our condo and eat it while looking over the ocean, romantic aren’t I. I ask the waitress to put it in a to-go box, and she acted like I was a wimp for not trying to eat it there. Oh it was on, I accepted that challenge. My wife had a few bites and went out quickly; I was in it for the glory. I enjoyed every bite of that Peanut Butter heaven and finished it. I might have needed to make a quick exit out of The Oyster House so no one would see me loosen my pants, but I left there victorious and thinking I’ll be back next year for round two.